If my husband (Cle) would have had his way in the Army, he would have learned about mechanics and computers. See, he knew back then (and this was in the early 80’s) how big computers were going to become. (Of course, he didn’t have his way–they stuck him in the infantry instead…but that’s another story…)
Since then, he has learned all about computers–well, as much as he could learn by himself, anyway. We’ve never had the cash or means with which to send him to school for IT training. Believe me, we’ve wanted to! IT training just opens up so many doors for a person.
I recently checked out the website for a company called Cisco. (Yes, this is a sponsored post–but, I must say that this is a site that I would have visited anyway for IT training possibilities for Cle.) Cisco has all kinds of IT training certifications, online seminars and webcasts, and loads of other types of e-learning programs through which anyone (like Cle) could gain IT knowledge.
Since I got my disability and we can stop focusing on my concerns, we can finally start looking more toward Cle’s goals–especially since we can now afford to. Looking for a site like Cisco was really on my to-do list when this post opportunity kind of fell in my lap. Seriously, after Cle does some type of IT training, he can get together with his friend (who has some IT skills) and they can start the computer repair/business computer solutions business that they have wanted to open. Or not–maybe Cle will change his mind after he actually gets a Cisco cert or two under his belt and sees just how many choices he will have.
What’s really great about IT is that it is ageless. What I mean is that there aren’t just job opportunities for young people just out of college–since IT touches just about every industry these day and since home businesses are a possibility, even Cle at age 45 can become a success in the field. Really, I cannot wait to see what he does with his IT certs once he gets them.
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We’ve owned lots of vehicles in the past–cars, minivans, even a station wagon. But we just took a major step (for us, anyway) and got our very first really nice vehicle a couple of days ago.
Since I got approved for my disability (and since we have a more stable income than we did previously), we figured it was about time for us to (gulp) get a vehicle that required a monthly payment. Before, we had always just paid for our vehicles–anywhere from $500 to $1500–and then ran them into the ground. Oddly enough, our $500 minivan lasted longer than any other vehicle we had, lasting about a year and a half. Everything else pretty much died within a year.
Well, now we have an actual car payment.
Our credit wasn’t that good (ok, we actually had pretty much no credit), so the interest rate we got wasn’t the best–but, it wasn’t the worst, either. And, our new van is super nice.
We are now the very proud owners of a 1999 Dodge Caravan–it looks pretty close to that picture over there. It’s one of those 4-door minivans, which is sooo nice. It has air-conditioning–a first for us. :) The perks and gadgets and little things this minivan has are just so cool! And it looks brand new, too, other than a couple of scratches on the outside. The interior is beautiful–so clean and new-looking. The mileage isn’t too bad–especially considering that it is a minivan, not a car.
Our whole family is just over the moon about this van. :) The kids love that it has tinted windows (not overly tinted, though). Cle loves the way that it drives (and the stereo/CD-player, of course). It just feels so incredibly nice to have a family vehicle on which we can rely–not one which we will be constantly worried about.
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My seven-year-old, Damien, is a very chatty boy. Sweet, sensitive, loving–you really couldn’t find a boy who cared more about other people’s feelings. Yet sometimes he just kind of misses the mark a little bit…
The other night as I was getting ready for bed I was walking from my bedroom to the bathroom and I was in my nightgown. Damien was in the hallway as well, and he must have gotten a sudden ephiphany. He looked at me and said:
“Hey Mom! I know why you’re fat! You eat a lot–that’s why you’re fat!”
I stopped in my tracks. I really wasn’t sure how to respond, I must say. I wanted to say something like, “Gee, thanks, I was wondering why I was fat, ” or “Did I ask you?” or something equally sarcastic. I didn’t, of course. I just kind of nodded and went on into the bathroom and shut the door. After I came out of the bathroom, Damien had gone downstairs (where Daddy was), so I just went back in the bedroom and shut the door (letting Daddy handle bedtime, as usual).
I would like to say that the comment just rolled off my back…but, of course, being the sensitive person that I am (gee, wonder where Damien gets it from?), it didn’t. See, I know I’m overweight; however, I can’t exercise due to my disability. It isn’t that I eat a lot…I just eat more calories than I burn out in energy–because I burn out next to nothing since I can’t exercise! Losing weight would require me to eat not much more than lettuce and celery sticks all day…and I’m NOT doing that.
So, yes, I’m fat. But I can’t exactly explain all of that to Damien very well–he’s too young to understand calorie consumption and all of that. He’s just going to keep on thinking that Mommy eats a lot. *sigh*
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Why does Mommy guilt have to be so powerful? Why can’t I be like a Daddy, and just feel bad about something–but not
guilty about it?
I’ve mentioned before that I have a disability, but I don’t think I really explained it too well. See, I have a chronic back/hip/leg pain condition that prevents me from doing a lot of the things I want to do. I can’t sit in any position for very long, I can’t stand for very long, and I can’t walk for long distances. I’m in pain pretty much all of the time, to a varying degree. As you can probably imagine, this has led me to develop depression.
I deal with all of the above with several different medications, laying down throughout the day, ice packs, heating pads–just trying to cope.
My boys understand that Mommy hurts–but, they don’t always get it. They want me to do things with them…things that I just can’t do. And it makes me feel soooo guilty. Even though there is nothing I can do about it, even though it isn’t my fault…I feel guilty.
Then, on top of that, I’ve been working an online writing job. I was sooo lucky to find a job which I can do from home to earn some money for our household. But, it takes up a lot of my time.
My boys understand that Mommy has to work–but, they don’t always get it. They want me to do things with them…things I can’t do because I have to work. And it makes me feel soooo guilty. Even though I need to do the work in order for our household to have money…I feel guilty.
*sigh*
I know I’m not the only Mommy out there with guilt…tell me about yours so I feel a little better, ok?
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